I was just about to go to bed when the telephone rung in the middle of the night. I picked it up and a strange laughter was in full swing on the other end of the line. It was so loud that I was quite shocked.

“Who is this idiot”, I thought and banged the phone down. It rung again for the longest time but I did not pick it up. As a man of intelligence I refused to give in to phantom callers and let it ring.

Then there was a hard intimidating knock at the front door – so hard I thought the door would collapse! I heard a man’s voice shouting, “Pick up the phone, stupid!”

I did not know what to do – pick up the phone or simply open the door and deal with the angry person behind the door. I was trapped in a dilemma:  opening the door meant to come face to face with the unknown and probably put up a fight and the surest thing was to pick up the phone. I wish I never did!

The laughter continued when it suddenly came to an abrupt stop.  I was in for the greatest surprise of my life: it was the president himself! He coughed a few times and then spoke with a bit of slur in his voice.

“You can now go to sleep. I just called to tell you that I have resolved the Cyprus problem: No referendums; No more negotiations; No more hardships; No more Kommata for we are all one; No more economic problems; No more ethnic barriers; we are now all Europeans safe and well under the wisdom of EU motherland.

‘But why the laughter Mr. President?’  I naively asked.

“Because you believe in fairy tales, idiot!”

In fact I was amazed that my President found the time in his busy schedule to call me; an ordinary citizen at that and of no importance!

“…. And who is that outside the door Mr. President?” I asked again.

“Oh, that’s the Persuader – the Law – and your biggest nightmare if you decide to refuse my most precious gift to you all; the Cyprus solution!

Satisfied I curled up into my own cocoon and fell asleep only to discover the next morning that something happened to my voice and I could no longer speak – the Persuader was standing outside the door with eyebrows wrapped in wrath.

But it’s okay if I don’t speak! After all, my President reassured me that I was safe and well, did he not?

Andreas Chrysafis by the sea

Andreas C Chrysafis

August 1, 2015



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